Caption Thisss.....

Award for the worst NBA You Tube of all time

Kobe fan made this

Worst Halloween costumes. NBA edition

                                             I'm sure there is a box a douche inside the box

Delladova with the "ahhhh fuck it, give me the hospital scrubs"

                              Skinny Jeans, and a Guns belly shirt.  Is this a hipster Axl Rose?

Jimmer Ferdete and his arts and crafts project.  Anybody that pegs their pants and has a Halloween costume that goofs on their significant other is a mark ass buster 

whut ..........

This isn't a costume but nothing makes me happier than Yao Ming holding a wine glass

Russ can't be great at everything.  

Imagine being the intern that had to go and have this stupid shirt made?  Carlisle is a insufferable ass.

This is what a search for Russell Westbrook throwback jersey gets you on Google Images

Contest time! Chance to win a Steph Curry Davidson throwback jersey!

Sponsored by Kamchatka Vodka.

Name the owner of this Throw Back Thursday haircut:

Post the answer with your twitter handle to enter 

Bron trying to trick people on Instagram

After getting his shot blocked by one of the grumpiest Euro's in the NBA, LeBron took to Instagram to calm Cavs fans nerves about his back.  To bad it was a repost from this summer.   

LeBron has nobody on his team that will tell him he needs to shut it down till after the All-Star break.  He knows that without Irving and himself, there is a realistic chance that the Cavs could not make the playoffs.   Would you trust JR Smith and Kevin Love running the ship for half a season?    

There is no way LeBron makes it through the season

 It's never good to see your superstar player watching the game from the floor.  Neither is having a dude's hands near your dick and balls.

                                                           Right Celtics fans?

Jose Calderon looks like a guy that would ask you if you are happy with your cell phone plan at the mall.   Good win by the Knicks tonight

GAME NIGHT!!!!

YES, YES,YES!!!

NBA season is finally here!  I was perusing the web, looking for something to write about when I came across the story about James Harden his new Adidas shoe.  I am a low-level sneaker head, so any story about sneakers grabs my attention.  People were really going in on his new shoe.

Or

Can't blame Harden for taking 200 mill from Adidas but how about some creative control? A pizza box has more ankle support.   

That loud thunderous thud you heard this morning was not Grandma breaking her hip in the kitchen.  It was the Miami Heat releasing their 3 alternate jersey's for the upcoming NBA season.  Most people  see these jersey's as a cool way to match your NBA jersey to your NBA skid marked boxers.  I see them and think about the good ole' day's.  That's right.  The Rony Seikaly era.

That's right.  The Serbian-Greek-Freak.  At first glance you may think Rony was a gumpy,anal sex loving 12th man.   Seikaly was actually a great player.  University of Syracuse even retired his number. Averaged 14 and 9, over a block a game during his career.   So what happened to Ron Ron?  NBA analyst? Nah. Porn career?  Nope.   Drug dealer?  Close..

That's right.  Night Club DJ!!!! DEH..DEH DERUPMPHH DERUPMHF.  DEH, DEH!!

DJ RONY RON! Y'all!   The Serb-Greek, a self-proclaimed DJ since he was 14. (1980 ish) has been dropping panties the past couple of years in Miami.   Where pure ecstasy, a non-lethal STD and a fake Maserati key gets you access to any night club.   

As I was pursuing the Google images, I could not believe that someone would pay money to see a 50 year old Ron Ron play some of the worst music on the planet.  

WTF

Photographer: Give me sexy Ronald!!  

RS: shut up!  Let me do this!1

Photographer: (frustrated)Give me the look that Bill Cosby gave all of those poor women before they passed out!

RS: No Problem.

Nobody fucks with The Ron-Ron.

Seikaly looks like the guy that fills your vending machine at work.  Not a DJ.  A part of me wants to see this in person.  The other part wants to kick the other part's ass for wanting to see this in person.   I have a couple of questions with the above photo.  1.) How much is Ron-Ron getting paid?  2.) why is he wearing a shirt from Walmart?  3.)look at the dude over Rony's right shoulder.  Is this the clientele I can look forward to seeing at DJ Ron-Ron's shows? 4.) that joint has to be laced with Cocaine, right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiAoTgM8-lQ

Seikaly's label is called "Nervous Night Life"  Not sure what the fuck that means.  I'm sure he came up with that label name while holding 5 grams of  GHB in his asshole, so let's not judge.  Above is a link to a "continuous" mix of DJ Rony-Ron's music.  Which means he had to hit click 4 times.   The music is beyond brutal.  

 I am considering a "Where are they NowOhhhhNo" Monthly article.  Where I find NBA stars with hard core, investigative journalism.   Or Google.   Let me know what you think.

                                 The look you give when you hear a Derrick Rose/Bulls Fan

The NBA had a twitter contest this afternoon to give away all the shit they can't sell on their website. And probably to promote the 2015-16 season.   And boy did they keep it corporate....  

Yep. This was the contest.  Watch our new spot and wax poetic about how layup line drills reminds you of your dead Grandfather.   I'm not sure the marketing department knows their demographic.  

 This was the winner..Seriously.    Could you imagine having some people over to watch a game and this dude shows up?   "hey guys, I have something to say.  I love the NBA and amazing things happen.  There is never a dull moment AND ..there never will be."   Who wouldn't want to kick this guys ass?  He's probably the guy that asks if you have any Zinfandel in the fridge during a game.  

I understand that most of the fanbase wasn't born when Tim Duncan was a rookie but lets cut the shit NBA.  How about you have a "take a selfie with your thumb up your ass" contest?   Although the NBA has a commissioner that looks like he's never picked up a basketball in his life, what do you expect.

Early nominee for laziest Halloween costume goes to Russel Westbrook.    Let's leave out the obvious Steven Adams dressed as a Slut Joker for a minute.

How long did it take for Russ to come up with this ingenious idea you ask?   I'll tell you.. 32 seconds.     He went to a Halloween party as his fucking teammate.   A inside joke to the majority.  The only people that get the joke is dudes that watch hours of Thunder practices online whilst eating cheese dip and Steven Adam's family.     Come on Russy.   You're better than this.  At least throw on some white face to get the liberal demographic going.    It could of been a 42 segment feature on First Take.  What could of been..

Unless he rapes a white girl in Colorado anytime soon (*cough.Kobe) I doubt there will ever bee a reason to mention Steven Adams again.  With that said.  Dude is a sure-fire doppelgänger for Adam Morrison.  

What other NBA blog will bring you this kind of coverage?  

        I honestly don't remember what I said to Dan Gilbert for him to block me from his Twitter.   I have a feeling it was a dispariging remark about how childish he acted when LeBron left the Cavs to go to Miami.   Not one day has gone by that I wonder "I wonder if Dan Gilbert tweeted about..zzzzzzzzzz"  or if he tweeted about reverse mortgages.   Either way, I'm sure it was his fault.  Fucking dick.

 One of the things I like to check out before the NBA season starts is the Over/Under win totals for each NBA team.   I picked 7 out of the bunch that I feel are the best odds for the 2015 season. (via oddsshark.com)

1.) Spurs 57 Under-Poppovich is a legendary coach but the man takes great pleasure in fucking with gamblers and fantasy basketball owners.  He will also sit his starters and demand that you be the power bottom in the relationship.  Most NBA beat writers claim that if you do not love the way the Spurs play that you simply don't know basketball.  They can eat a bag of giraffe dicks.  The Spurs are boring as fuck.  Grantland writer Zach Lowe watches Tim Duncan highlights with his pants off.   No disrespect to the Spurs, Game respects game here but I'd rather watch Wheelchair Bowling on ESPNU4.

2.)Knicks 28.5 Over- I should preface this by saying that I am a Knicks fan.  Realistically, I think they will be fun to watch and with 39 or 40 games.  Which should be a 2 seed in the East

3.) Heat 47.5 Under-I had the Miami Heat as over 47.5 a week ago.  That is before I watched two of their pre-season games.  Erik Spoelstra has his hands full trying to figure out how to mesh all of the personalities on his team.  And it will probably take him till the all-star break

4.) OKC57 Under--not confident about this one.  Baring injuries the Thunder are one of those teams you have to watch.  If they are healthy.  Plus Durant in a contract year, Russel Westbrooks athletic ability and newly signed Center Enes Kanter who plays street-ball defense, is a must-watch.

5.)Pelicans 48 Over-I'm drinking the uni-brow kool aid here.  

6.)Jazz 42.5--I love watching the Jazz.  I love the uniforms.  If Jerry Sloan came out of retirement, it would be a easy pick of the over.  Since that's never happening, I'm taking the under.  Hope I'm wrong.

7.)Kings 39.5--Boogie Cousins is quickly becoming my favorite player.  And if you mix Rajon Rondo with a underpaid Boogie who is looking to wreck everyone in his path has me taking the over.

Numbers you need to know: If you lost 30 million dollars gambling on sports, you  would still be a better sports bettor than Charles Barkley.

So many things wrong with this.   1.) LeBron must of told Rio what to eat 2.) someone favorited his tweet.  3.) he is so hungry that he can't reach the h on his keyboard.

Dude is right.  You can never go wrong with a grilled cheese.

Money,Power,Respect and white women.

2015 NBA Blog!! Anyone remember Stephon Marbury eating Vaseline on Skype?

If you have never seen it please go to google and put in "Marbury eats Vaseline."Pretty sure Marbury was huffing glue out of one of his 8 dollar sneakers.    Or someone put LSD in his fruity pebbles.

AnyWho.

I love the NBA.  I follow over 900 former and current NBA players on Twitter, which actually thinking about it makes me depressed.   I've also watched over 20 hours of pre-season hoops.   I'm going to move on before I carve "Brooks was here" on the wall and end it all.

On this blog I will be posting some of the better NBA player tweets, ramble about basketball in the 90's and who has better hops, Kristaps Porzingis or three legged turtle.  

Floppy Socks is a ode to my favorite basketball player, Pistol Pete Maravich.   Forget that the man scored 44.2 points per game while at LSU.  He kicked the bucket on a fucking basketball court.  Your move Jordan.

One of my other favorite players is Boogie Cousins.  His reaction to Tristen Thompson getting 82 million guaranteed was the reason why I got the NBA league pass.  Oh, and he hates George Karl.  Throw in a little Rajon Rondo and you have a abortion recipe that should be worth the cost of NBA league pass.

My main focus for this blog is that even non die hard NBA fans will enjoy it.   If all else fails, I'll hop on Skype and eat Vaseline.